Fifty Shades Of The Durbevilles
Hardy liked stripping the willow,
And nipping the frost in the bud;
A nice clump of copse and a series of crops:
They gave him a thrill in the blood.
His countryfolk liked nothing better
Than a night on the lash in the gorse,
Or shaking their hips with a couple of whips
And running around out of doors.
Take Diggory, covered in reddle –
A Satanic young man, I’ll be bound –
Whatever the weather, he runs hell for leather,
Or thrashes about on the ground.
Old Tom put the sex back in Wessex
In Casterbridge, Mellstock and Forum:
No wonder his plots tie themselves up in knots –
And his characters lack all decorum.
Henchard likes self-flagellation
And Tess flogs a dead horse, and bleeds;
Alec is hard, like the Marquis de Sade,
And just think of the spanking he needs.
Yes Hardy was always X-rated,
In love with a sinister goddess:
He was writing down porn from the day he was born,
And boy, could he rip you a bodice.