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Imbibing Idiot Bias

Holding Chateauneuf du Pape
I look like a stupid chap,
But with a glass of Beaujolais
It’s plain my brain’s been shot away.

Standing with some Liebfraumilch,
I am of the gormless ilk,
But lounging with a Moscatel
I’m dense and cretinous as well.

Sipping at a nice Rioja,
I seem really off my rocker,
But with a decent Sauvignon
All my intelligence seems gone.

Even with a glass of Merlot,
My nous is clearly on a furlough –
When I get some Swedish Glogg in,
Sure, there’s nothing in my noggin.

Even with a gin and tonic,
I am marked down as moronic:
Those who saw me quaff some hock said
‘What a dim and doltish blockhead.’

Just a sip of Cotes du Rhone,
It’s certain that my head is bone:
Even with a quiet spritzer
Nobody's certain where my wits are.

Perry, sherry, beery foam,
The lights are on, but no-one’s home:
They say the Chancellor is bright.
And you know what? I think he’s tight.

Click here for an article in The Independent

Click here to buy Bill’s new poetry collection, Ringers

Imbibing Idiot Bias

Five studies from two US universities have ‘proved’ that holding a drink makes other people think you’re stupid.

18 July 2012


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