Water, water anywhere
God bless the wholesale hosepipe ban
God bless the widespread drought
If everything has gone to plan
The newts are up the spout
God bless the ground that, dry and dour
Could flood in under half an hour
All hail the clouds, withholding rain
All hail the breeze that dries
The grass, the fruit, that thwarts the grain
And kills the dragonflies
God bless the horticultural thirst
And experts who predict the worst
God bless the reservoirs that stink
Of air-fed fish, grown stale
The voles upon extinction’s brink
The soaring price of ale
God bless the hard mud’s crazy paving
The waders who were not worth saving
God bless the weather’s tale of woe
The blizzard and the fun
Of gale-force winds, and if not snow
Carcinogenic sun
I edit news. God bless disaster
It sells my papers so much faster
Click here to read a Guardian article
Click here to buy a copy of Bill’s new poetry collection, Ringers
