I’m writing an essay, I’m doing research,
I switch on the net, I bet I’ll be speedier,
Oh no, I’m bamboozled, I’m left in the lurch:
I’ll have to go sick. There is no Wikipedia.
There’s no Wikipedia! I’m helpless, I’m cracked,
I can’t cut and paste all the answers they need.
The world has gone dumb, there’s no access to fact:
Without it, how can I begin to succeed?
I’m a failure, will feature as a mug in the media,
The imprudent student who handed in blanks.
I am sick to the core. There is no Wikipedia:
In the army of idiots, I’ll soon swell the ranks.
The waters of academe seem very choppy;
My boat has a leak and I’m due for the sharks.
Where shall I plagiarise? How shall I copy?
Without Wikipedia, where are my marks?
This is disaster. There’s no sticking plaster
To cover my nakedness. No-one is needier.
Bring me a cleric, a medic, a pastor:
I’ve a deadline to meet and there’s no Wikipedia.
Click here for a story in The Independent
Click here to buy Bill’s new poetry collection, Ringers