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The Dark Side Of Santa

I'm red, and I'm white. I am danger.
I fly through the night like the witches.
Don't talk to me: I am much stranger
Than fiction. Don't tug on my britches.

I feed little children to reindeer.
I'm behind you, dear. Oh yes I am.
My jollity? – horribly feigned. Here
I come. I'm a shape-shifting sham.

My cheeks are this red because booze is
So cheap. I've been out on a binge.
I'm covered in horrible bruises.
I smoke and I steam and I singe.

Hide hard behind well-tethered curtains,
When I drift in as smooth as a spiv:
Who am I? The one thing for certain's
I'll be there. I know where you live.

I'll frighten you out of each stocking.
Go to sleep, let your little limbs straighten.
My sleigh-bells are sudden and shocking –
Do anagrams, do you? I'm Satan.

The Dark Side Of Santa
A government web-site has warned parents about how “terrifying” Santa can be, and children that should sit near the exits in pantos, because pantos too can be frightening.
13 December 2005


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