Your job's done a runner, you're feeling downcast?
Your home’' repossessed, so how good do you feel?
Do you yearn for a future, or hanker for past?
Do government cuts have a sexual appeal?
And have you a metal detector at all?
Could you use it perhaps at the government's leisure?
It's just that we're hoping you're heeding our call
To help us discover our national treasure.
And are you a slacker, a victim of sloth,
Or fit as a flea-pit, and ready to bite?
Are you a man or a woman, or both?
Are you a creature of day or of night?
When the bankers run out with a bung and a bonus,
How hard are you hurt? Does your sympathy show?
Please write to us, now (for God’s sake don’t phone us)
And say if you're Yes or Uncertain or No.
The forms will be filled and the stats will be counted,
And the norms will be measured and averages set:
And all of our problems will soon be surmounted,
Because you're so pleased with our national debt.
A government has to take steps, be all-seeing,
To add up the strength of your hope and your trust,
And that's why’ll measure your very-well-being
And that's why we’re bound in the end to go bust.