A Meal In Itself
A quiet little evening out à deux,
Candle-lit, of course. The waiter bows.
He asks which dish the pair of us prefer.
We order up a herd of Jersey cows.
And that's for starters. After that, we opt
For fifteen swarms of eels, a shoal of salmon,
Ten beds of oysters, very freshly cropped,
And garnished with a hundredweight of jam on.
The main course comes: a hoggery of pork,
A school of whales – the entrée must be mammal –
And, since there's still some room upon the fork,
We also have a caravan of camel.
And here we pause, to drink a flood of fluid:
Some butts of sack, a crate of Premier Cru,
The milk of ewes caught yesterday in Clwyd,
A box of hock, and one of Special Brew.
For afters, there are tubs of mice ice cream,
And sausage sorbet. Yes, we have enjoyed an
Evening free from greens. It's like a dream:
I urge on you an evening out in Croydon.
Read the story in The Independent here