the weekly


I am a mellow fellow
George Osborne is my name
I'm Fabio Capello
I run the national game
We are a trillion quid in debt
We cannot hit an open net

Election: did we win it?
Ah yes, with some assist
And that is lucky, innit –
We very nearly missed
It was a very greasy poll
We hardly scored a single goal

We're all in this together
Incompetent, unbowed
Listen to the pundits blether
While we inform the crowd
How much our victory's enjoyed
How many will be unemployed

We may not reach the final
Our discipline is lax
The national urinal
Has value added cracks
Be grateful for the joy of pain
As we contrive to miss again

If you say I'm a fibber, all
I have to do is roar
Wayne Rooney is a Liberal
Unless his boot can score
All eyes upon the ruined pitch
I'll soak the poor, I mean, the rich

Your pay may well be frozen
Your team may meet disgrace
Your company may close and
It may vanish into space
But while the midfield is asleep
The good news is, that cider's cheap

Read the Guardian budget summary here

Read Bill's 'Bill Posters' blog by clicking here

George Osborne's first budget promised colossal cuts to public services, while reversing a proposed hike in the price of cider. England just scraped into the last sixteen of the World Cup, having scored just two goals.
22 June 2010


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