Pisces, Libra, Capricorn,
It's been that way since they were born,
But polling day, I am afraid
Brings Mercury in retrograde:
Our leaders know psephology,
Not their elbows from their astrology.
Mr. Brown must act like Bluto
With Mercury opposed to Pluto;
The stars, you may say, are unfair
(His polling day has a Sun/Moon square).
His dark and losing winning smile
Means he'll be going out of style.
Mystic Clegg, the heavens tell us,
Is rather friendly, far too zealous:
He and Dave aren't poles apart
According to their astral chart.
The rest is cloudy, more or less,
Since I am paid by the Express.
As for Cameron (moon in Leo),
Well, he is bound to win with brio:
He must set out all his stalls
In clear and simple crystal balls –
Yes I can not No I can't –
Thank you kindly, Russell Grant.