the weekly

Tesco Town

As Prufrock said, Oh let's go
Through half-deserted streets
And see the town of Tesco
With its checkouts filled with sweets –
Let's swim inside its pretty pools,
Their fountains and their splashback,
And send our kids to bargain schools
And ask the heads for cashback.

Ah let us visit Tesco
On a warm and windless night
And eat our meals al fresco
Wearing red and blue and white;
Let's sit inside its pub yard
Or strip off in its joints,
Buy houses with a Clubcard
And treble bonus points.

The culture of UNESCO
Is generous and deep:
But let us live in Tesco
Where everything is cheap –
The adults may be outsize,
And their children wailing whelps
But ignore their gormless outcries
Since Every Little Helps.

There is no branch in Tresco
But that's the Scilly Isles
And the rest go in for Tesco
With its boulevards like aisles:
In a world that's filled with jargon
Let's pile into a Mazda,
Trawl Tesco Town for bargains
At Morrison's or Asda.

Read the Times article here

Read Bill's 'Bill Posters' blog by clicking here

Tesco Town
Tesco is to branch out into building villages and selling houses.
28 April 2010


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