the weekly

Big Beasts

I am a very bulbous beast,
round and large and smug.
Heavy-bellied, viscous, gelid,
I'm a slug.

I am a beast of giant girth,
with hide both tough and thick.
Bold and bloody, I'm your buddy,
I'm a tick.

Roar! I am a beast with horns,
to make you quake and quail:
a hardened case, and hard to face.
I'm a snail.

Beastly, that is what one is,
colossal, fierce, and fat.
And what one does is cause a buzz:
I am a gnat.

One of us you must appoint
to be your Lion Of Sheba.
In gross good cheer, we hail you, dear

Big Beasts
For some reason, leading candidates for the Conservative leadership are always referred to as “big beasts”.
October 4 2005


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