Chancellor'd Be A Fine Thing
I am a Liberal Democrat
Whereas I fizz, my pals are flat
I like to hear my praises sung
I hope the Parliament's well-hung
The papers praise my bonhomie
My skill with the Economy
My two opponents flog you tat
I am a Liberal Democrat
I am a Liberal Democrat
A perfect hook to hang your hat
I hate our yah-boo politics
But George and Al are hapless hicks
I offer pain for you to smile at
Hands as clean as Pontius Pilate
I am the cream inside the cat
I am a Liberal Democrat
I am a Liberal Democrat
I'm neither this and never that
I'm multi-coloured, cheerful, chintz and
Please to kneel before St. Vincent
Lloyd George knew my great-great-gran
I am a giant of a man
I'm neither Jack nor Mrs. Sprat
I am a Liberal Democrat
Yes, I'm a Liberal Democrat
Where they are ticks, I am a gnat
They burgled you beyond belief
But I'm a different class of thief
Against a gold or amber backcloth
I stand, a prophet, dressed in sackcloth
They offer gloss, I promise matt
I am a Liberal Democrat