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Bully Beef

Churchill was cheerful, a charmer
Who handed out brandy, cigars;
Attlee would say to you, flatly
'Your flowers are fab. Here's a vase.'
Visit Lloyd George and he'd hang out the flags.
Gladstone brought gobstoppers out of his bags.

Thatcher was kindly and caring –
She never gave side-kicks a rocket.
Wilson was keen upon sharing
And left you a pound in your pocket.
Disraeli liked dancing, and gave you a caper.
Chamberlain was happy to slip you some paper.

Eden was shy, rather thoughtful:
He never invaded your space.
Major liked nothing much better
Than a full custard pie in the face.
Heath laid on visits to concerts and ships.
Blair gave you hugs, or a kiss on the lips.

Callaghan – God, he was jolly,
In his summer and spring of content.
Baldwin would buy you a lolly:
What a fine and magnanimous gent.
Bonar Law? Basful, a bit of a lisper.
Macmillan would only converse in a whisper.

But Gordon explodes like a tanker
With a huge nitro-glycerine load:
He's frankly addicted to rancour
And he sulks like an elderly toad.
Downing Street staff, and it's happening daily,
Are beaten to pulp with a splintered shillelagh.

His heart is far harder than granite;
He fills civil servants with dread.
He's the cruellest man on the planet.
He wishes your family was dead.
If he caught you in corridors, having a laugh,
He'd call Harriet Harman to saw you in half.

It's no good your ringing Aunt Esther.
Better vote for young Cameron or Clegg.
Dave is a regular jester
And Nick may play sit-up-and-beg.
Far better follow a simple young clot
Than a man who has blood which is boilingly hot.

Read the Independent article here

Read Bill's 'Bill Posters' blog by clicking here

Bully Beef
Gordon Brown was accused of driving Downing Street staff to ring an anti-bullying helpline.
24 February 2010


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