Swiss Unroll
I'm filling the holes in my cheese up
And making them straighter – more tidy
The Matterhorn's shut for a freeze-up
And I'm closing the casebook on Heidi
I'm not going ski-ing – I'll give it a miss
I won't be a party to anything Swiss
I'm pouring some acid (sulphuric)
On these very luxurious chocs
And if you're a gnome and from Zurich
Then to hell with your watches and clocks
I'm not blowing Federer even one kiss
I won't be a party to anything Swiss
Your finely-carved cuckoo's been thrown in
A fire. My army knife's out:
If my horse has a hoof with a stone in,
It'll just have to hobble about
You're not guarding the Pope, you are taking the piss
I won't be a party to anything Swiss
Fondue, forget it, and walking-sticks, snap
Your music-box melodies? All of them: banned
Swiss Cottage is not on my underground map
Nestlé is now my least favourite brand
I'm not going yodelling, not after this
I won't be a party to anything Swiss
