the weekly

Zero Intolerance

I am a model, it's a doddle,
if you are nice and neat,
and cause a clamour with your glamour,
long as you don't eat.
I'm super-thin, I'm bone and skin,
I'm at your beck and call:
that's how I earn - for when I turn,
you can't see me at all.
Of course I know, suppose I pose,
that I am flat and mannish,
but what a trick, when I'm a stick
which can completely vanish.
Last week, when idling, ripe for sidling
out before the crowd,
I saw some burly catwalk girls.
I almost laughed out loud.
Signs of muscle, signs of bustle –
and here the picture worsens –
beneath their slips, some bulging hips:
They looked like normal persons.
Why, you could grab at hints of flab,
and see they had a tummy:
they joined our ranks, these spindleshanks:
call that a tailor's dummy?
The buyers roared, and said Good Lord
to glimpse such pounds of flesh.
I went to eat my weekly treat
(a spoonful of crème fraiche).
It will not do, their ballyhoo,
and no, it will not last:
to prove it's risible, being visible,
I'm starting on a fast.

Read the Observer story about Mark Fast's show here

Read Bill's daily 'Bill Posters' blog by clicking here

Zero Intolerance

Fashion designer Mark Fast's decision to use size 12 and 14 models at London Fashion Week yesterday caused a behind-the-scenes row that ended in his stylist walking out. – The Observer.

25 September 2009


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