the weekly

The Deep

I am a sardine, in a can,
I swim in brine, serene:
But I am like, so says a man,
A nuclear submarine:
Use my key with due aplomb,
And I will go off like a bomb.

We are two tiddlers in a tin,
And wriggle in it gaily:
But science proves that we can sin
Like crooks at the Old Bailey:
Take us home, and you will find
That we will rob your family blind.

I am a little stickleback,
Steal fish eggs for a meal.
I also deal in bricks of crack.
You want to make a deal?
Forget the clam, forget the chowder:
For I produce the purest powder.

I am a tadpole, from the spawn
Plug-ugly frogs have laid,
But science shows that, when I'm born,
I act like a grenade:
You see my tail, the way it flits?
Well, I could blow you all to bits.

I am a minnow, your M.P.,
Inside a standing pool,
A small fish – would you like to see
What's in my yellow drool?
Scaly, squalid, wholly charmless –
And science says I'm wholly harmless.

Read the Times story about sharks here

Read the Times story about dolphins here

Read Bill's daily 'Bill Posters' blog by clicking here

The Deep
Great white sharks use the same methods as serial killers, and dolphins use the same techniques as jet fighters, according to two separate studies, one from the University of London, and the other from West Chester University in Pennsylvania.
24 June 2009


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