the weekly

Eye No Candy

I am a grizzled veteran
*****who's read the TV news,
But I'm a seasoned journo and
*****I've been a frontline hack.
I've made my way, I've had my say,
*****I've also paid my dues:
In fact you may conclude that I have
*****been to hell and back.
How else to be the man who reads
*****the tele-prompt so clear?
How else to shuffle papers
*****with a widget in my ear?

I've spoken to the nation
*****about death, disease, disaster,
Announced the fall of governments,
*****and many wars abroad.
I've spoken to prime ministers.
*****I am the perfect master
Of feeding you with bulletins
*****that must not be ignored.
How else to be the man who greets
*****the camera with brains?
How else to josh the weatherman
*****who tells us how it rains?

But now I am retiring
***** (and will get my proper honour),
And find my place is taken by
*****a face above a frock –
I am not bitter, not at all,
*****but heap my curses on her:
How many times, I ask you, has
*****the girl been round the block?
What has she got which qualifies
*****her for the awful pressure?
Am I so ugly, honestly?
*****And is she so much fresher?

Read the Independent story here

Read Bill's daily 'Bill Posters' blog by clicking here

Eye No Candy
Peter Sissons, retiring from his role as BBC news presenter, lambasted Natasha Kaplinsky, a former BBC news presenter now with Channel 5, in a pompous and intemperate way. 'I suppose any bright woman with good looks who can make herself a million a year must be doing something right,' he moaned.
17 June 2009


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