Son of Sponge
Darwin – let the bishops curse! –
Claimed our ancestors were chimp.
Some cited Bible (chapter, verse)
And said that Science was a pimp.
They said that Darwin was facetious,
Biologist as prostitute,
His Origins brought this, our species,
Into shocking disrepute.
Since then, we’ve come to understand,
We grew from some primeval gunge:
But surely this is out of hand –
To claim we came from a bathroom sponge?
This morning, at the usual time,
I filled the tub up to the edge,
To scrub away nocturnal grime,
But heard a voice call from a ledge:
“Oy, chum! Put down that slab of soap!
If I’m to judge you, mere defendant,
You surely sense my shame, I hope,
That a scruff like you is my descendant.”
