the weekly

Slim Chance

I am morbid, I am gross:
please feed me an extra dose.
Don't care if it means diarrhoea:
think about the climate, dear.
Perhaps you'll
give me a capsule?

I'm not tubby, I'm immense:
here's my pound and sixty pence.
It's not that I think I'm colossal:
I'm saving all the fuel that's fossil.
Enough gab, let
me have a tablet.

Here's my tyre, far too spare:
give me drugs and hear my prayer.
It's not because they say I weigh a
ton. It's for the ozone layer.
No more swill-box –
fill my pill-box.

Yes, my bum looks big in this:
some tabs will give me flab-less bliss.
Who cares for the side-effect? –
there's the third world to protect.
I'm a shopper
for a party-popper.

Glaciers melt. The water's rising:
feed me Alli, I'm downsizing.
Sex? Eat less? That's far too hard:
chemist, cure my tub of lard.
The no-fat pellet!
So sell it!

Read the Telegraph report on 'fat pills' here

Read the Guardian report on obesity and climate change here

Read Bill's daily 'Bill Posters' blog by clicking here

Slim Chance
Two oddly parallel stories appeared. Weight-loss drugs like Alli can now be purchased over the counter at pharmacies, although their benefit is disputed. In a separate report, it was suggested that countries with a higher percentage of obese people cause much higher rates of greenhouse gas emissions.
22 April 2009


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