the weekly


I'm not what I seem, scooby-
doo-wah. In my long sulk, I have
suffered an eurosis, but

now I have come out
spouting, a-voodoo-dooby.
I can hold myself in no longer:

what hot guff
stuffs my tongue, hobby-booby-
babbledy-boo! I shuffle

my hush-puppies, I'm
fat with scat. I blow my own
trumpery, fol-de-rol. I'm ooby-

da-jooby, I cut the crap.
Europe, I'm an ex-pro, I say
No. I'm the man. Hooby

-hep. Do the side-step,
I'm going back where I never
came from. Trust my trooby-

blues. I'm Scatman, brothers -
huffle-puffle, jazz like the others.

“The Piano Man” turned out not to be a concert pianist with amnesia, but a missing Bavarian, with the internet nickname 'Scatman'. Ken Clarke, a jazz fan, with an eye on the Conservative leadership, appeared to renounce his pro-European sentiments.
24 August 2005


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