Malefactors, rule infractors,
Those the courts award what-for,
Those who prate against the state:
Wear the Letters Of The Law.
All offenders, all horrendous,
All who scorn the national team,
Let us taunt them as they flaunt
Our appalling colour-scheme.
Twisters are not fashionistas:
Let them suffer after trial.
Unrepentants, here's your sentence –
Wear your shame in Jack-Straw style.
Those who cadge must wear a badge,
Let the public know they sin:
Scarlet letter? We'll do better
Than they did to Hester Prynne.
Hey Jack, say the gangs on Payback,
Haven't you gone quite insane?
Politicos, here's your red nose,
Or (brand-new plan) your mark of Cain.