the weekly

If You Can't Join Them

Let us un-invent the wheel,
Let us dredge the silted river,
Let us use a rod and reel,
Watch our catches as they quiver,
Let us beat them till they squeal
Within inches of their liver.

Old ways best: the pole and perch,
The furlong, troyweight and the acre.
Where's the mammoth? Let us search.
Bully beef and Kenneth Baker:
Let us love the scourge and birch.
Naughty children, shake him, shake her.

Let us worship what is past,
Run the future down the drain:
If the children can't be arsed,
Let them feel some decent pain.
Let us tie them to the mast:
Let us manufacture cane.

Torture is a lingua franca:
Let the sweat out from their pores.
Bring back ruin, savour rancour,
Show them steel and vicious claws,
Let us praise the humble spanker.
Children, this is called a tawse.

Progress, progress, Mr. Chips!
Let us split the willow's tail,
Never mind the teacher's tips.
Better that they weep and wail:
Cannot join them? Beat with whips.
Flail them all. A school's a gaol.

Click here for the story in The Times Educational Supplement.

If You Can't Join Them

In a Times Educational Supplement survey of 6,162 teachers, a disturbing 22% in secondary schools wanted to revive corporal punishment. So did 16% of the primary teachers.

15 October 2008


Home/Join | List | Next | Previous | Random