I've had a hard day at the office
Where I'm running my country of choice
And I may seem unkind but it's hard to unwind
When your colleagues are oafish old oiks.
I've had a hard day with decisions –
I'm a leader not let off the lead.
A political boss measures profit and loss,
And decisions? They make the heart bleed.
I've decided it's time for a sideline
To re-charge my battery cells:
To get out of the lobby, develop a hobby,
And escape from these dizzier spells.
Perhaps I could knit a new sweater
Or polish my talent for skiffle,
I could tango with glee on some daytime TV
Where they're ready to screen any piffle.
I certainly need a new outlet
To stop myself feeling so broody:
With some get-up-and-go I could have my own show
Like Oprah or Richard and Judy.
So here I am, talking to camera,
On how to make foolish new law,
How to pile up new debt, and – my best subject yet –
How to ruin the world with a war.