Dear Miss, all my homework's been burgled:
it's being auctioned online as we speak.
Some kid's on the snaffle
and a worldwide e-raffle
has claimed it. Miss, one extra week?
Dear Doctor, my body's been lifted:
it's for sale on an internet site.
I was due for a check
from the knees to the neck,
but I'm naught but an aura (not bright).
Dear God, my whole soul has been stolen:
they've placed it on eBay. One bid
will win all its details
and some say it retails
for just short of thirty-five quid.
Dear Me! My identity's vanished:
it's been nicked for a virtual bazaar.
but the sellers are failures -
I'd borrowed an alias,
and the buyers won't know who they are.