the weekly

How To Be Happy

Of course it is debatable
If life is cruel and vile –
All figures are inflatable,
Unless you have my style:

No hair on my chest, no flashy mustachios,
Oh I'm testosterone-free;
My brains aren't kept in two giant pistachios,
So no credit-crunching for me –

No Top Gear, dear, not beerily amorous,
No Loaded, no Nuts and no Heat:
Just plenty of laptops and digital cameras.
I think the recession is sweet.

No lead in my pencil, no luxury laddie-car:
Speed is a turn-off, a bore.
I may down a bottle of Smirnoff or Vladivar
While juggling two iPods or more.

I don't beat my breast like King Kong or a Viking,
Or blast the fast lane of M1 –
But knock back the Cossack whenever I'm biking –
The cost of my living is fun.

And yes, I may dismount to take in some shopping
On very cheap frocks and on shoes –
They're all at a discount, and prices are dropping.
Seems like I win while you lose.

Of course it is debatable
And many men are snarling –
All figures are inflatable,
But Alistair's my Darling.

Click here for the story in The Guardian.

How To Be Happy
Ashley Seger of The Guardian pointed out that, because some prices were falling while others rose, if you are 'a woman who drinks vodka, doesn't drive and buys lots of electronics, you will have a very low inflation rate'.
July 22 2008


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