If you're obese, don't blame the state,
But eat the greens upon your plate .
And if you are immoral, whistle,
But mop the gravy up with gristle.
If you are idle, you're a dud,
Reheat each day your daily spud .
Your poverty is so obscene
And never mind the flecks of green.
Why did you make three pints of custard?
Self-discipline's a flush that's busted.
Eat each last slice of bread and marge.
Bang up the cashless and the large.
Throw fridges out and build a larder.
Right and wrong: we must try harder.
There's rust upon the nation's soul.
Scoff the toad and scoff the hole.
Be righteous, or we've had our chips.
Chew the core, the pith, the pips.
Can't work? This is both tripe and blarney.
Choose chili, but don't leave the carne.
Flab and fib: they're moral follies.
Go shopping, but don't load your trolleys.
Work hard, be pure of heart, and halve
Your waistlines. No more bad debt. Starve.
Click here for the story in The Daily Telegraph.