I'm Only Here For The Bare
It's a shame. It's a scandalous saga.
It makes the mind wander and warp.
Do they think that I like drinking lager? –
Of course not. I go there to gawp.
The delights here in Munich are legion,
And as mayor, I am proud to attest,
That I live for the thrill of our region –
Our festivals, drooling for breast.
Who'd waste his time on a tipple,
When drawn to such flames like a moth?
It's the thought, not of beer, but of nipple
That makes my mouth suddenly froth.
How has Bavaria earned all
Its fame? With the foam of a stein?
Of course not. What's under that dirndl?
Give me what's rightfully mine.
A fraulein is hired to wander
Through gardens where I like to sit,
My drink going flat, as I ponder
On the fabulous trance of her tit.