Immigraine
We worked with our hands.
We were hand-Pict.
Then the Gaels blew in, stealing our lands
and our jobs, and beating our tattoos.
All in all,
no benefit at all.
Soon there were Brits,
with their Britvic tonics and Britney spears:
we were up to our ears
with hard-bitten Britons, all overloaded
and overwoaded, and welshing on deals.
All in all,
no benefit at all.
Romans came. And just for fun
they built the M1, and Aston Villa,
and Walls, as in ice-cream, and spread Latin
from Poole to Prestatyn.
Some say,
it was a Roman holiday. All in all,
no benefit at all.
The Saxons knew all the Angles.
They gave us the horn, and lager, and the navy,
and gravy, and ox-tail soup,
and Everything You Wanted To Know About Wessex
But Were Afraid To Ask,
and Douwe Egberts.
All in all,
no benefit at all.
The Normans brought Norman wisdom,
and the Channel Islands.
They threw out the Jews, and poured
phlegm on the Flemings,
and brought in the feuding system,
went on Crusades, and cruise ships,
and invented cruise missiles
and the House of Lords.
All in all,
no benefit at all.
