the weekly poem.com

Citizen Brit

I am the very model of a very modern Britisher,
But wish to swear allegiance as I know that I am pretty sure
I'm neither Geordie, Celtic nor a Cockney nor Mancunian:
I am a loyal servant of the Greater British Union.

I bow before Elizabeth, regalia and sash an' all,
Because her orb and sceptre mean I am a British National:
At school I pass certificates and always gain a solid A –
Because I want a discount and I need an extra holiday.

I'm not as pure as Paisley (I.), the champion of thunder-rants,
But wear my Union Jack with pride (I'm talking of my underpants),
That Annigoni pic is on a fob, that is upon a key,
Because I am a patriot and mad about the monarchy.

By Betjeman and Beckham, and by Kipling cakes and Mother's Pride,
I always root for Britain and I never see the other side:
I wave the flag and rag the French with absolute impunity
And binge-drink when I am abroad at any opportunity.

I hate the Yanks, and spit upon a KFC or Wimpy ad,
And think the Chinese should not host a World Cup or Olympiad,
Because I am Britisher. Who cares where other regions are?
I swear an oath! F***! That is my allegiance, sah!

Click here for the story in The Guardian.

Citizen Brit

Former attorney-general Lord Goldsmith completed his review of citizenship. Its proposals include a) a British National Day from 2012, apparently to coincide with the Olympics, and the Queen's diamond jubilee [a bit previous. Ed.], b) all school-leavers swearing an oath of allegiance to the crown, and c) council tax discounts for voluntary workers in schools and elsewhere. Hmmm.

with apologies to W.S. Gilbert


12 March 2008

POETRY KIT WEBRING

Home/Join | List | Next | Previous | Random

alt-webring.com