Man, I've been high on the mountain,
And it blew me away, in a flash.
The whole world lit up like a candy-stripe fountain:
And these tablets, hey? Helluva stash.
I heard God, man: cooler than placid.
When He spoke it was almost non-verbal:
It was stronger than skunk, and better than acid,
Or anything out of my herbal.
His voice! It was deep, it was hollow.
He was like just a shape with a beard.
And here's His Commandments, they're easy to follow –
But wow, it was so freaking weird.
I feel like I've been for a bevy,
Been out of my skull and my brain –
Hey! what's with this calf, man? That looks pretty heavy:
No way, Aaron – man, what a pain –
God the Great Dealer don't love it,
I was there, yeah, I heard what was spoken.
This bling ain't the thing. It'll lead you to covet –
You've slipped – so have I – hell, they're broken!
I'll have to go back. He'll be raving.
He may stone me, or rattle His whip.
The next time I'm back, man, be sure you're behaving:
Sinai's one major trip.