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I hang about the bog and croak,
And blow out dark Satanic smoke;
I puff my chest, and own the law;
I am a loathsome carnivore.

I'm hungry. Look into my eyes,
And watch me as I hypnotise:
Be wary of my nether region –
I am Lucifer and Legion.

I'm back and forth across the pond,
And even dinosaurs are conned:
They see me, and they hesitate,
And then they hear my chest inflate.

My mouth is very, very wide,
With vicious teeth, which are my pride;
There's some who'd call this smile a grin.
Come closer, stranger. Just hop in.

I swallow you by slow degrees;
They called me Mephistopheles,
It's wasted on me, your applause:
See this, the slaver of my jaws.

Darfur, Chechenya, Basra Road –
No, I'm no fossil frog (or toad):
I kill at speed, I kill in slo-mo.
Best call me this. Beelzehomo.

Click here for the story at

The fossilised bones of a prehistoric frog 'the size of a bowling ball' (or, in some articles 'a beachball') has been found in Madagascar, and christened 'Beelzebufo', or 'devil-toad', on the basis that it could have eaten hatchling dinosaurs.
20 February 2008


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