If your flight won't suit the airspace,
and your chin needs to be scratched -
say, for instance, you're not bare-face -
here's a chute (no strings attached).
If can't find things to smile at,
think our Leader does not care -
like a lip-fuzz-loving pilot,
out you jump. Into thin air.
If you think the Real McCoy's thick
tufts of handlebar, which sprout –
well, a moustache and a joystick
should be strangers. You are out –
and if you think that Bob Mugabe
isn't President for Life,
then you've fewer brains than Barbie.
See this hand? It wields a knife.
Yes, we only want the shaven,
in the cockpit, or on board.
All your opposition's craven.
Exit now. We've cut your cord.
Click here for the pilot story in The Independent.