the weekly

Saturday Knight Fever

How are you? I am Michael K.
Do you have any films to plug?
Or new books coming down our way?
Please treat each question like a drug.

How wonderful are you? Confide.
Please tell me such a funny story
That I will shake from side to side
And bathe in your reflected glory.

My tests are hard, I hope you'll gather:
I vanquish every visitor.
My tongue is soapy. Watch it lather.
I am the grand inquisitor.

Here I kneel, a tattle-tittle
Underneath your regal sword.
See me lick away my spittle:
I am the A-list's pimp and bawd.

See these eyes, where once there twinkled
Stars of sport and stage and screen.
Now I am old and very wrinkled.
What made you such a wondrous Queen?

Saturday Knight Fever
Michael Parkinson, whose chat-show ran in the seventies and eighties, and then again this century before ending this Christmas, was knighted. He was described by Guardian journalist Jasper Gerard as 'the man who put the chit back into chat'.
2 January 2008


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