Saturday Knight Fever
How are you? I am Michael K.
Do you have any films to plug?
Or new books coming down our way?
Please treat each question like a drug.
How wonderful are you? Confide.
Please tell me such a funny story
That I will shake from side to side
And bathe in your reflected glory.
My tests are hard, I hope you'll gather:
I vanquish every visitor.
My tongue is soapy. Watch it lather.
I am the grand inquisitor.
Here I kneel, a tattle-tittle
Underneath your regal sword.
See me lick away my spittle:
I am the A-list's pimp and bawd.
See these eyes, where once there twinkled
Stars of sport and stage and screen.
Now I am old and very wrinkled.
What made you such a wondrous Queen?