the weekly

Say It Loud, I'm Fat And I'm Proud

I do not like my carrots
and I loathe the sight of sprout;
if there are greens upon my plate,
I'd sooner do without;
a cabbage or an apple
does not leave me in the pink;
I need a drink.

I do not like the liquid stuff
that tumbles from the tap;
what others label 'Adam's Ale'
is plainly full of crap;
and what percentage proof have you
that alcohol's bad stuff?
I need a puff.

I do not like the taste of air,
especially when fresh;
a gulp of poxy oxygen
brings goose-bumps to my flesh;
my lungs, which long for thick tar,
are as strong as steel or rubber;
I like my blubber.

My tongue breathes British ale.
I love my yellow gnashers.
Obese, I'll turn to British grease
and then to British ashes.

click here for article in The Independent

Say It Loud, I'm Fat And I'm Proud
”British people are the fattest in Europe, drink more alcohol, eat less fruit and vegetables and are more likely to die from smoking than the average across the European Union.” – report in The Independent, based on a Department Of Health report.
24 October 2007


Home/Join | List | Next | Previous | Random