the weekly


Women are better at shopping;
Men are much better at maps.
Women are better at stopping;
Men soldier on till collapse.

Women can handle a trolley;
Men simply stare at the shelves.
Women are sure what is folly;
Men merely look at themselves.

Women will stick plenty neck out;
Men have one eye on the door.
Women are first to the check-out;
Men are the first to play war.

Women are better at Bingo;
Men cannot barter or bargain.
Women can pick up the lingo;
Men are the experts at jargon.

Women pick plants out with pleasure:
They say it goes back to the stone age.
Men kill their victims at leisure,
And most of them don't act their own age.

Women let certainty set in
When men are afflicted by doubt.
Men stick a fresh bayonet in,
But can't get the bayonet out.

The mammoth comes round to the caves;
It waits for the flint, like a sitter.
The women watch how it behaves;
The men become angry and bitter.

The women consider the taste
Of a dinosaur, if they should eat it;
Men fill with terrible rage
Unless they can catch it and beat it.

Women do shopping with ease;
They are the first to the till.
But Iraq is a chronic disease.
Men spread it. It makes them grow ill.

A Californian study suggested men were poor shoppers but good map-readers, while women were the opposite. The study suggested these were prehistoric, learned skills. President Bush insisted the Iraq war needed to be won.
22 August 2007


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