Hello, I'm Keira Knightley.
May I help you cross this road?
There. And since I'm not unsightly,
That's twenty quid that's owed.
Who cares about a thousand ships?
Lick your lips and cash my chips.
I'm Angelina Jolie,
Want help to pack your bag?
I'll do it nice and slowly
Since I'm not the usual hag.
Your shopping sits so prettily!
Here's my bill. The usual fee.
You can feel the world grow colder
As the A-list does its duty;
In the eye of the beholder,
There is only boodle's booty.
I'm ugly-mugged, so help me, mate –
Shoot me. What's the going rate?