the weekly

Floody Hell

Flood, notorious flood,
There's nothing to nix it:
Brit-sticks in the mud,
We've no way to fix it.

We haven't glimpsed this abyss
For millions of aeons,
We know that they felt like this
In New Orleans.

Flood, notorious flood,
All rivers run faster,
They're curdling our blood,
It's quite a disaster.

Don't think about Bangla Desh,
Don't mention tsunami -
If bowsers are not kept fresh,
We'll go barmy.

Yes – flood – notorious flood –
We're stuck in a flood –
Our rudders are dud –
Notorious flood!

Floody Hell

The South Midlands of Britain were flooded in what were referred to as the worst floods in British history. Most newspapers carried at least eight pages of flood news. To date, one death is attributable to the floods – a swimmer who decided to swim in a swollen river near Bedford.

with apologies to Lionel Bart

25 July 2007


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