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Unintelligent Design

My name is Jehovah, I made the world over
Six days which were periods of time.
There were aeons, let's face it, of watching this space
While I made the primordial slime.

There were plenty of ways of my counting the days off,
And my calendar could have been bust,
But the temperature soared, and a God can be bored
When he quick-dries quintessence of dust.

The world was no quickie. I pulled the odd sickie,
Dividing the dark from the light.
Such work's all distraction – creative inaction –
And you never get everything right.

I did what I liked. I spent ages on strike.
Some days I made big, others small.
Some days I made something to sing to or swing to.
Some days I made 'Nothing At All'.

I made Man in my fashion, but made a slight hash on
The day I conceived humankind.
My celestial chainsaw cut out half its brain. For
This I'm to blame. Never mind.

How great can a sucker be, dear Mr. Huckabee?
I certainly messed up the climate.
The world's in poor shape – but then I am an Ape.
A hundred per cent, son. Your Primate.

Unintelligent Design
“I believe whether God did it in six days or whether he did it in six days that represented periods of time, He did it. And if anybody wants to believe they are descendants of a primate, they are certainly welcome to do it.” – Mike Huckabee, contender for the Republican presidential nomination.
7 June 2007


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