the weekly

Kelly Hours

I'm going back to neverland
to hone my magic powers
and learn to be so clever and
extend my kelly hours.

The staff are quite delighted that
my deskapades are longer;
in fact, they're so excited that
they did a staffroom conga. (Ow!)

My thriller days are over now,
I'm strictly for the nerds:
my teacher'll be in clover now
to see me, mark my words.

And I won't be making faces,
with these kelly hours investing
in knowing where my place is,
since time will be more testing.

One odd thing's happened, all the same,
though I won't make any fuss:
the teachers bring in bedding, claim
they'll have to sleep with us.

Kelly Hours
Children are to be asked to stay at school longer – the extra hours will be called “Kelly Hours”, after the Education Secretary, Ruth Kelly. Michael Jackson was freed, and said he would never share his bed with young boys again.
15 June 2005


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